cooking for idiots

okay, so i'll admit, i tend to be one of those people who is easily annoyed (this, in turn, annoys others and results in an endless circle of fun). the thing that's annoying me right at the moment?

the dumbest cooking instruction ever: "heat until hot." (and i will have you know that i have seen this instruction more than once). mostly because it leads to a chain of thought in my head that goes something like:
"thanks, genius. i was going to heat it until it was cold."
"really? because i was going to heat it until i got bored and decided to take a nap instead."
"personally, i like to heat things until the rooster crows three times in a clockwise direction. so eat that, suckers."

and then it makes me realize that i might benefit from institutionalization. especially for what is apparently personality #3 over there. feisty and weird.