monsters and mirrors

i keep saying i miss little kids. and i do. but my "i prefer to be able to return them" philosophy seems to be getting more and more out of control. the little neighbor kid that was talking to me while i was spray-painting just now kind of annoyed me, because i did not have "kid" in my immediate activity plan. i adore my cousin, but i get bored of playing with him after a couple of hours and want to do something else for a while. i never actually got around to volunteering at the elementary school this semester, and even when i do, i tend to get annoyed when they want to talk or something instead of read like they're supposed to. i know i have insane rules for my own activities, but i guess i didn't realize how... strict and crazy... i was getting. i'm becoming one of those horrible, demanding adults who take all the fun out of the lives of those around them. frankly, this scares the crap out of me. especially since it's exactly the opposite of the kind of person i loved to be around as a child, the kind who allowed me to become what i am... or used to be. next thing you know, i'll be sitting around some pretentious restaraunt eating ostrich medallions and talking about how "idle time is the devil"*. ohshitohshitohshit.




*i have actually met this woman, and had this conversation. it made me want to scream. she was completely horrible, and would make a fit villain for a children's novel.