well then

i mean, granted i apparently have pedophilic friends, but... what about me makes playboy think that i need their lingerie catalog? i don't currently reside in asia -- where, i have heard, the playboy brand is all the rage even though the magazine itself is technically still banned. although i occasionally threaten otherwise, i actually plan to (eventually) pursue a career in academia. i don't have the kind of boobs that inhabit their own gravitational field* and can therefore be accessorized with only bits of string and the occasional rhinestone. i'm not even dating. yeah, local bouncers are starting to know me by name, but... seriously, why would i need (not safe for work) this? actually, don't answer that.

in the end, my roommate and i have decided to turn it into (yet another) mini sociological experiment. we're going to put it in the bathroom that male visitors typically head for, and wait for a good reaction. must remember to hide it when parents appear...


*i.e. fake ones -- guys, we've developed a good lesson plan involving carmen electra's strippercise if you don't understand this statement, which you probably don't. our test subject even focused enough to learn and later apply the actual lesson.