i blame the full moon entirely

"i thought there was somebody out the window and i was like, how are they up that high?!" ...in response to me pointing at the computer before i could formulate the appropriate accompanying comment. also, the kitten is definitely in the bathtub playing with the water. apparently no one is even remotely normal around here. just thought you should know.

but my actual point is this: it was 33 degrees outside today. too cold for many people. and also, it seems, too cold for my weenie-ass car. because it sure as hell refused to start. again. which means that i got to bike to work today in wind so strong that i had to work to go downhill. this was not a fun experience. consequently, i whine. i know, i know, it's just god's little way of telling me i'm fat. but it wasn't very nice, and i mean that. luckily my roommate saved me from having to try to ride home uphill in the dark, because i think i would've had a breakdown, possibly right before my lungs finally exploded. and then, of course, work itself was completely worth it, if by "worth it" i mean a gigantic clusterfuck where nothing worked, everyone was grumpy (for happyland), and i found occasion to use the word "fuck" in, i'm pretty sure, every conceivable sense. sometimes with an accent. but you'd better be sure i smiled while i said it.

all of which left me with a strong desire to drink strong things and imagine it would help. but i haven't. and i'm waffling between feeling proud of myself for not becoming a real alcoholic (it's only real if you drink alone, you know) and feeling pathetic because... i don't even know why.

hmm... i just had the strange desire to run screaming down a hill carrying a large banner and wearing a long flowy tunic like knights used to wear over their armour. because that makes complete sense with, um, anything. when i disappear one day, you can bet that i either ran screaming into the sunset in a similar manner, or the nice young men in their clean white coats finally caught up with me (and brought lots of tranquilizers, just in case).