downswing

it's an interesting swing between happy and depressed, isn't it? one minute the world is wonderful, the next it sucks, and nothing of particular note need happen in between. lucky for me, i suppose, i can be easily influenced by the people around me -- and the people i'm around the most are cheerful for a living. thank god for coffee, right? but it still hits me, every day: at 5pm, i'm depressed. i don't know why. at 9am my nose usually itches. same thing, i guess. pointless and random and quite possibly psychosomatic. but i don't remember it before it happens, it happens before i remember. which, at the moment, "proves" to me that i'm not just making it up. sometimes i'm way too easy to convince. i should probably do something about it but, typical me, i think i'm just gonna sit around and see if it changes. because one definition of easy is the path of least resistance (by which i mean the path on which you sit on your ass and steadfastly ignore it until it explodes or goes away, and then you proceed to get busy ignoring the consequences). if you procrastinate your way through life, though, do you necessarily have any more regrets than those who try really hard and still end up with things that don't work out? would be worth doing an experiment; too bad i can't access dual realities simultaneously. so you pick one and you go with it until you start to think, "oh shit!" and then you go with the other until you panic there too and in the end all you have is a gigantic fucking mess... hooray.